What I deserve vs What God Gives

In recent days I have shared with others how much God has blessed me, blessed us.  On several occasions I have been told that they are glad, because after all that I have been through, that I have earned it.

That couldn't be farther from the truth.

I don't see, and maybe it's because on this side of eternity I am unable to, how I deserve any good thing.  I am ever knowledgable about my sin. In this body, in this world, it is everywhere I go.

I know that I am saved and forgiven.  But maybe this is my own 'thorn in the flesh'. To keep me from exalting myself. That I would be ever aware of my failings and how I could have done better for Jesus.

I am the one who, like Joseph, had been given a chance to see what I am doing now for God over 20 years ago.  Then, like Israel, I spent most, if not more than, those 20 years in the wilderness. I jumped the gun and spent decades dealing with the repercussions of that.

I know the passage as well am most do of God causing all things to work together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.

But wow. I certainly gave Him a lot to deal with to get to this point.  I have often referred to events in my life as Spiritual surgeries.  To an artist, a sculptor, essentially that is as close as it gets to the focus, the intensity, of the procedures when changes need to happen.  The smallest or large strokes required have to be executed exactly or the only result is to begin again.

If I have been blessed with anything, it's that I do not remember much of events in my life.  The major stuff, I tend to remember, but most stuff I don't.  However, when it comes to where I have failed God, both fortunately and unfortunately there's reminders presented to me.

Have I been blessed? Oh, yes, way more than I deserve.  Way more than I deserve.
I know that I am forgiven, but as I said, I am reminded of my times in which I fell short. 

I have on many occasions prayed as King David, who am I, and what is my house that you have blessed me so?

In one the last books of the Left Behind series, there's a scene of one of the key characters and their seeing and approaching Jesus in Heaven.  Their life goes through their mind as Jesus comforts them.  His only response is to call out 'unworthy!'  I can relate to that in my life.  I know that I am blessed beyond all measure, but in me, I feel so unworthy.
I know that God's ways are higher than mine, and I know that He casts my sins as far as the east is from the west. His enemy sends reminders of where I messed up. 
What I try to do is keep on trying to praise my Jesus.  Focusing on things above not on things here below as He says in the New Testament.  Praying for others. Trying to keep from stumbling.  Getting back up, and moving forward.  The race of life isn't over yet. There's still a finish line up ahead. 

I will respectfully disagree with those who say that I deserve these blessings.  It's all God's Grace.

His granting me unmerited favor.  That's what Grace is.  I am grateful for that.
I didn't earn it and don't deserve it but He gives it to me.  Yes I have been through a lot, but, as it was with Joseph, God's idea of on-the-job training is way different than ours. 

He loves me, that's all I need to know.

My Jesus I love thee
I know thou art mine

As the hymn goes. Soon I too will see Jesus face to face.  I firmly believe the Rapture of the Church is near. 

I know in whom I have believed. Do you?

As I said before millions thought they had a today.  Now they don't.  Now they fully realize that deciding when they were alive meant a Heaven or Hell difference.  There are no atheists in Hell.  There are countless millions who have had their theology corrected.  They are all very aware that Jesus is who He says He is.
But now all they have is an eternal separation from God.  They are not partying.  Read what Jesus Himself said of the conditions there. 

Don't put it off. Where I am today is where God was showing me that I would be 20 plus years ago. Telling people, showing people, they need a Savior. To throw out the life preserver.  To show the way to be saved.  Once you are dead there's no second chances.

If you aren't sure, Google 'Roman's Road'.

Be sure.  Millions will get no second chances today.  They won't have a tomorrow.  I fear not what tomorrow may bring.  Jesus has me safe in His hands.

My life is not my own.  It's a work in progress by my Savior.  To tell others what God wants to do for them.